Build A Bridge And Get Over It!

Build A Bridge And Get Over It!

I don’t like to write articles that appear to be knee-jerk reactions to situations I experience in “real-time”. However, sometimes it is good to share the energy with others because it may help to combat the inertia some experience in their own relationships. Thus, I must discuss fear, pride, and guilt, and the way they lead to failure.


There are so many people who live in daily fear. They fear confrontation, they fear hearing the truth about themselves, they fear the permanent “goodbye”, and they fear “not knowing”. In active situations of conflict with others, all of these fears swirl around one’s head until they create a cyclone of debris. Fear conjures up ugly images and causes people to build up defenses where none are needed. Self-justification feeds into the fear and soon a whole case is made for staying in one’s corner as all signs of life in a relationship atrophy.


Fear is the very opposite of faith, unless we are talking about the healthy fear of God. Satan wants us to fear because it is the easiest way he knows to divide and conquer us. Perfect love casts out fear. We don’t have perfect love, but if we are staying close to Jesus, we are learning a bit about love. The more God builds His own character and nature into us, the more we will love others beyond the scope of human norms.


When dealing with enemies, we are told to show them the love of Christ. We are not told to justify ourselves, gather a crowd of “yes-men”, and hang the other guy in effigy. We are to love them, and do good to them, thereby heaping burning coals on their heads – meaning that they will become convicted about their own behavior when they see that our behavior is above reproach. We are to agree with our adversary quickly when it comes to disputes, so that they don’t take us to court and extract from us far more than they really wanted in the first place.


Don’t know what I’m talking about? We humans have this ugly habit of trying to get out of situations in such a way that we appear 100% right and lily white in purity, while we paint the opposing side as 100% wrong and black-hearted. Because we are so full of pride, we often think that we will simply gather all the character witnesses we can find and we will bully or buy our way out of a bad situation. In our pride, we give ourselves a pass for the nasty or irresponsible things we do, and we don’t admit them to the ones we have hurt so we bury our guilt. We feel justified because we deserve the best, and we have no problem telling an inflated story about the opposition so that everyone will feel sorry for us and angry with them. Us. Them. Us vs. Them. And all the while, as we justify ourselves and vilify our enemies, we think God is only on our side, “just ’cause”. We never stop to think that if we humbled ourselves we might gain our enemy as a friend, or at least have a respectable peace.


Fear. Pride. Guilt. Tools of the enemy. Know someone who has aught against you? Jesus said you are to go to that person and talk to her, and be reconciled, before you bring your offering to the Lord. We are to be at peace with all others insofar as we have the capacity. Build bridges, don’t burn them. Don’t let pride stand in the way. None of us has perfection in this life. All of us have failed, time and time again. What is truly important is what we do from this moment on.


You have the capacity to humble yourself. You have the tools necessary to get through the conflict, and if you do it God’s way, you will come out much better than if you try to bull your way through. Try it God’s way. With His help, you can build a bridge and get over it.

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